Dear Scorpius
by Semblance of Sanity
Summary: "'The power of love is infinite.' So, I guess I have to believe that we are going to be okay. Me. You. The Baby. Our family. No matter what, we have each other." Muggle!AU in which Scorpius is shipped out to Who-Knows-Where, and Lily writes him letters that he can't return. :: ScorpiusLily Luna :: For the Long Haul Competition and others. Triggers: Death, Tragedy, and Angst.


For the AU Competition; Muggle!AU. For the Alphabet Challenge; ScorpiusLily Luna. For the Interesting Words Challenge; "gotong-royong" (Indonesian) - the joint sharing of burdens; the bearing of the weight of the world together with trusted friends.

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_Dear Scorpius, My Love,_

_I have been assured that you will get these, but the mean man on the telephone says you won't be able to reply. Apparently you went and got yourself assigned to some covert op in the middle of no where and my letters will be given to you, but you are not allowed to contact me. Why the hell did you have to go and be such a badass soldier?!_

_I'm not really mad at you, of course, but I am mad._

_Why did you have to leave me? (Rhetorical, of course)_

_It has only been two weeks since you shipped out, but I miss you and my heart aches. What am I going to do without you?_

_Nevermind. I'm being stupid and selfish. At least I get modern comfort. My poor darling. I wish I could send you some of Nana Molly's cookies._

_I suppose you want news? First trimester passed successfully! Provided nothing goes wrong...WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! Has it sunk in? Are you freaking out yet? I'm freaking out. I freak out every minute. The neighbors must be tired of my squealing._

_Okay, promise you won't hate me, but I've already told everyone. I know I should have let you know that everything was fine first, but you already knew that I was pregnant, and I needed a hug, and you're there...Don't hate me, love, because __I love you. _

_And also, there's an ultrasound photo in the envelope. Forgive me now? _

_Isn't he/she cute?! Those tiny hands and feet..._

_Sam, my love, our kid is going to be smoking hot. I mean, with our genes...Just saying. Don't give me that look - I know you are giving this letter a look - you know I'm right._

_I know we discussed this, but I've forgotten your answer: were we going to use the office or the guest bedroom? For the baby's room, I mean. And how should I decorate the room? Ugh, now you aren't here to make the decisions for me! I'm going to be a wreck by 8 months, Sam, I really am._

_At least you aren't here to be yelled at. Damn my mother's temper; I'm getting crabbier already._

_Speaking of Mum...Reactions. So, I told everyone at one of Nana Molly's big Sunday brunches. They are all thrilled. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of hugs, and it was wonderful. Everyone sends you their best wishes, congratulations, safe travels, etc., etc._

_Mum and the girls want to take me shopping for baby things already - can you believe that? I don't even know what the gender is yet! (Don't worry, I will tell YOU first. Maybe I won't tell them at all...Jokes. I will.) I told them we'd go shopping around 5 months. I'll let you know what we pick out, alright? :)_

_Oh, and your Dad invited me over for lunch this Saturday, so I'll tell them then. I'm very nervous. Will they be happy, do you think? Will they hate me? I know, I know. I'm being foolish, and your parents like me, and they were just raised differently than I was, etc. I'm still nervous, Sam. Would it be rude if I took Al with me? They like him better than me. You should have married him._

_Geez, I'm being bitchy. I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to be nice and supportive, but I'm a naturally selfish person, Sam. And this baby is helluva selfish kid already. Won't let me eat carbs. Like, honestly, kid? I'm not going to survive without carbs. I don't think it understands that yet. _

_On a happier note - or not really - our song was playing at the doctor's office last week. I was just sitting in the waiting room with my magazine, minding my own business, and it starts playing. I started bawling. Everyone was looking at me - they must have thought I was crazy or a single mom or something. _

_Oh, I miss you._

_What if something goes wrong, Sam? What will I do? I don't know how to be a mother - I don't know how to be a mother without you! You won't be home for the birth...I'm going to be all alone._

_I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared. I wish you could write to me. I need you to tell me it's okay. I need you to hug me and brush my hair and tell me you love me and that our baby is going to be pretty like me and have my eyes and your hair and cute freckles. That sounds totally cliche, but I'm not kidding. I wish I was._

_I MISS YOU, SAM, AND IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAMN WEEKS._

_I'm being clingy, but don't forget me._

_All my love,_

_Lily Luna _

_P.S. You know how the tags on my tea have quotes? Today I got this one: "The power of love is infinite." So, I guess I have to believe that we are going to be okay. Me. You. The Baby. Our family. No matter what, we have each other. _

_So I'll leave you with that._

_I. Love. You. With all my heart._

_P.P.S. I'm sorry, that was cheesy. Still love you though._

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**My Love,**

**You won't get these until I come home - or until I die, I suppose - but I practically tremble with the need to talk to you, and a trembling hand is no good when guns are in the equation. So, though we won't be able to communicate like a normal married couple, I write. **

**My badass-ness (badass-ery?) can't be stopped, love. I try to turn it off - I try very hard - but I'm afraid I am too epic.**

**I really, really miss you, too, Lily. "Aches" describes it perfectly, you wordsmith you.**

**My comfort isn't important, love, YOU ARE PREGNANT! I freak out every morning, too! I wake up with this big smile, and Josh grumbles about being too happy in the morning. I tell everyone about my beautiful wife at home, my beautifully pregnant wife. I hope you send me pictures of you and your big belly (but don't worry, honey, you could never be fat). **

**I'm not at all embarrassed to admit that I cried when I saw the ultrasound. Beautiful can't even begin to describe...Obviously, smoking hot is the correct word there. :D**

**But seriously, we are the hottest parents. This kid is so lucky to have our genes.**

**We were going to use the guest bedroom, sweetie, because it's closer to our room. I hope you remember, but it will okay if you don't. What's a little more exercise? Babe, you are a master decorator. I would - if I were there - leave all those decisions up to you anyway. **

**You can do this. I know you think yourself weak, but you most certainly are not. You are the strongest person I know. You got this.**

**I miss everyone already.**

**I can't wait to find out the gender. I want to hear about everything, and I hope you know that.**

**My parents are difficult, but of course they will be happy, and no they will not hate you! You are carrying their grandson! Yes, maybe they like Al better, but I seriously hope you don't wish I had married Al. Talk about awkward!**

**You have never been a selfish person, but, again, you are pregnant with my child. Do whatever the hell pleases you, sweetheart, and I'll scare everyone who tells you otherwise when I come back. :D**

**That was not a happier note. Don't cry, Lily, please. You are not a single mother, I love you very much. And you have a very supportive - overly supportive ahem - family. You are going to be fine. But maybe you should go stay with your parents...I know you are scared, and I want you to get my letters. I want to call you and hear your voice. This place scares the hell out of me, and this letter came at a perfect time. You are an angel, Lily, I swear.**

**I love you, and our baby is going to beautiful, just like it's Mommy. He/She will have your eyes and my hair, and cheeks covered in your adorable freckles.**

**I MISS YOU AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN 3 WEEKS.**

**I can't write, but don't forget me.**

**You are my everything,**

**Scorpius**

**P.S. That was terribly cheesy, but it was also very comforting, and Lily, dearest, I love you, too. With all my heart. We will be okay. Whatever happens, we'll get through it together.**

**P.P.S. They have that tea here, too! Mine says: "Act selfless, you will be infinite," and that's a load of bullcrap. Be selfish, babe. You are growing a person. Our person.**

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Weeeeeell? What do you think so far? It's something new I'm trying out.


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